I just got back from a trip to Florida. It was not a vacation. It was to attend the funeral service of a cousin who had lived in a retirement community and who had died there. And on my visit, I learned something new to me.
Please bear with me for a few lines as I clear my throat:
I am somewhat of a wordmudgeon. Words are symbols for the things they represent, and when they are abused (applied to many new and unrelated things) their original significance is lost forever. If you think that is an obscure notion, just consider the word awesome for a while. The last time you heard it spoken, did it actually refer to something inspiring awe? Heartfelt awe?
Anyway, a word that I think is in jeopardy of loosing its meaning is support.
To me, used as a verb, support is more than just “well-wishing.” Well-wishing is saying “I support you,” followed by no action to demonstrate such. Support is more than good thoughts, I think. Using support simply to convey a feeling without doing something about it is to erode the meaning of the word. I wish the Salvation Army well. However, I support them by donating to their fund drive.
But back to the message I want to deliver.
In her Florida retirement community, my cousin had been something of an activist. When she had moved in there, she saw a possibility and actively made it real. She saw a community need, and a natural shared point of interest that might be the beginning of a social organization to unite strangers. She created that organization she envisioned, and it has grown to some 2,000 members today. And there is no end in sight.
Now that is supporting your community!
But what struck me was this: her support was echoed back to her by those she supported.
I attended my cousin’s funeral service, and amazingly there were more than 700 people in that church to pay their respects. My cousin was not a public official. She was not a celebrity. She was not what you would call a VIP. Yet here they were. A crowd of a size usually reserved only for such persons. What was I seeing?
I was seeing real, tangible, active support.
They were showing their support for a woman and her family whom they admired, whom they loved. They were showing their support, their love, for someone who had supported them. And they came out early on a rainy morning to do it. It wasn’t them saying it. It was them doing it.
I had not thought about it this way before.
Perhaps it is the best measure of the true support given to others that it comes back to you–active support begetting active support.
Richard’s take on support is one i never really thought about. Yes, it should probably include doing as well as saying something. That it returns its favor to you is beside the point. If that happens as in the anecdote above, fine lucky them. i find this excellent writing and communicating , not only of loss and bereavement but also the need for amore careful use of language.
Thanks, Artie.
The real thing I object to is insincerity. Saying you support something or someone but not taking an action to demonstrate it simply seems insincere to me — sort of like the bagger at the grocery store wishing you to have a nice day, yet not even looking up or pausing with next customer’s bagging. Mouthing support, yet never actually doing anything to show it simply seems insincere to me.
Perhaps I’m just a wordmudgeon, but “concur” seems to be a better word to use than does “support.” Unless, of course, one actually intends to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.